


Serendipity

by itsy_bitsy_lizzy



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Art, Asuka is there for only one scene, Coffee Shops, Depressed Ikari Shinji, Depression, Digital Art, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kaworu wants to be there for shinji, M/M, Mainly focused on Shinji's perspective, Piano, Sad Ikari Shinji, Social Anxiety, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsy_bitsy_lizzy/pseuds/itsy_bitsy_lizzy
Summary: To Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji deserves the world.In which Shinji is a loner student in highschool, but when Kaworu wants to get closer to Shinji, he sees a brighter world.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	Serendipity

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are Shinji's thoughts.

Shinji Ikari is not a stranger to loneliness. It is probably his fault anyway, he’s never been the type to initiate conversations with people, let alone be social. All he has is two friends that aren’t quite friends anymore, they hardly interact with Shinji now, and there’s Asuka who will taunt him here and there, trying to get a reaction out of him. There’s only one person who talks friendly with Shinji, and that person is Kaworu Nagisa. Though, Shinji isn’t even sure if they’re technically friends anyway.

The other thing about Shinji Ikari is that he lacks motivation to do anything, it’s as though he is hollow. There is nothing special about him, he gets barely passing grades in high school and he doesn’t pursue any interests. He knew how to play cello, but he doesn’t really want to do much with music. He spends his free time lying in bed, contemplating, listening to music as he scrolls through his phone.

Kaworu Nagisa on the other hand, is quite near the opposite. Kaworu is very popular in his class, he gets good grades, and he is surprisingly good at things like sports despite his rather small frame. He’s gifted with good looks and all. Shinji wouldn’t be surprised if he did sports after school, on like a team or something. He’s the ideal person. Maybe even an _angel_.

Right now, Shinji is drawing a circle in the corner of his notebook paper, biting at the inside of his cheek, waiting for class to start, or actually, for it to end.  
And Kaworu is sparing many glances toward Shinji from his desk.

After that class comes P.E., which Shinji dreads each day. Shinji’s so young yet he feels out of shape whenever he has to do laps around the field area. After about his 4th lap, he’s already tired, and he ends up tripping over his own feet. As soon as it was happening, he used his elbow to prevent him from hitting the ground face first. Once he slowly lifted his upper body off of the ground, he could feel the heat rise on his face in embarrassment. Of course, he couldn’t do this simple task, it was just running, of course he messed it up, of course.

He wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear forever once he heard distant laughter. He could feel other people’s secondhand embarrassment as well. In Shinji’s field of vision, he could see a pair of sneakers stop next to him, and Shinji was ready to receive whatever verbal punishment from whoever that person was. “Are you alright?” Shinji looked up, a bit shamefully, to the source of such a kind voice and he almost lifted his eyebrows in surprise, as he saw a hand extended out towards him, belonging to Kaworu Nagisa.

“I’m…fine…thanks.” The brunet took his hand and was pulled up. _What was that!? Why did my voice sound like that!? Why did it take me so long to say three words!?_ Shinji internally scolded himself. “Ah, your elbow…” Kaworu gently pulled Shinji’s arm towards him to take a better look at the small injury.  
Shinji’s arm felt tingly at the contact of Kaworu’s fingers delicately brushing off dirt on his arm. “It’s fine, I-I can take care of it when I get home, Nagisa-kun.” _Why did I stutter!?_ Shinji scolded himself in his head once more. “Actually, it looks like it’s starting to bleed, you should get it patched up so it won’t get infected.” Kaworu began to jog towards the P.E. teacher, most likely to get a bandage for Shinji.

Shinji felt warm about how Kaworu cares about something as trivial as a tiny injury on Shinji’s arm. Once Kaworu made it back he opened the bandage and placed it gently on his elbow and putting a bit of pressure with his thumb on the other sides of the bandage to make sure the sticky parts stayed on well.  
“There you go.” Kaworu smiled at Shinji.

  
“Yeah, thank you.” Shinji found himself smiling back. “Actually, you know, you should come hang out with me sometime after school, Ikari. I want to get to know you better.” Kaworu invited. _God, I don’t really want to…but I know he probably pities me for being a loner_ Shinji thought, he’d probably be awkward the entire time, so he should definitely say no.  
“Sure, Nagisa-kun” Shinji said. Kaworu looked very happy at that reply and Shinji’s heart skipped a little.

“Shinji-kun, you can just call me Kaworu.”  
And with the adrenaline of a nice conversation going he mustered up some courage.  
“Oh, then you can call me Shinji, by the way, um, if you want.”  
Shinji felt flustered just by saying it, but glad that he did. “Well Shinji, how about we go hang out a coffee shop? If you’d like.” The ruby eyed boy suggested.  
“Yeah that’s- I like coffee shop…coffee.” Why did word it like that!? I’m so stupid! Shinji berated himself in his head.  
Kaworu chuckled at Shinji’s response, “Alright then.”

After that previous interaction, he’d been replaying it in his head all day, like it was a song.  
Though when school was actually over, Shinji was really nervous. He only agreed to Kaworu’s invitation because there’s no way he would’ve said no to him.  
He gathered his belongings and saw Kaworu, by the doorway, gesturing for Shinji to come follow him. “We’re just going to go to a small coffee place around here, I hope that’s okay with you.” Kaworu looked for reassurance in Shinji’s eyes.

  
Shinji, a bit flustered, broke the eye contact and nodded, “Yes, it’s alright.”  
“Alright, but tell me if you don’t like it or anything, okay?” Kaworu offered a kind smile.  
“Y-yeah of course.” Shinji was always surprised by the silver haired boy’s smiles.

When they arrived to the small coffee shop, it was a bit shabby, but pretty cleanly nonetheless. It was full almost, too. Oh, and Shinji forgot about the fact he has to make conversation when they find their seats, and his heart dropped at the thought of messing up.  
I’m going to humiliate myself, oh god why did I agree to this, Kaworu probably won’t want to talk to me after this the brunet panicked internally. “Hm, oh, here’s an open table.” Kaworu pointed, it was a somewhat small table, but it appears to be comfy.  
They both seated themselves and took the menus placed on the table beforehand.

“Hm, I think I’m going to get a latte…” Kaworu stated.  
_I’m not really hungry or thirsty…_ “Oh, uh, I’ll just get a tea.” The blue-eyed boy replied. After that, Kaworu began to talk about the coffee shop itself, to make small talk, but to mainly make Shinji feel at ease, and it was working bit by bit. Unfortunately, their little conversation ended because the waitress arrived at their table. “I have this latte,” Kaworu pointed at the item on the menu, “and he’ll have a tea with a chocolate croissant.” Kaworu smiled.

  
Shinji blinked in surprise at this. “Ah, Kaworu, you don’t have to- “  
“Be back with your orders!” the waitress said, all too enthusiastic.  
Kaworu laughed, “It’s fine, I’ll pay for it.”

“Wait, that’s- you don’t need to- I have my own money, um, so…” Shinji tried.  
“I’m the one who’s treating you, Shinji. The only thing I ask in return is for you to tell me about yourself.” The silver haired boy said.  
“Oh, okay. I mean, I don’t really know what to say about myself, I mean, I’m not really that interesting.” Shinji laughed emptily. “I think you’re interesting.”  
“Huh? What do you mean?”

  
“Well, it’s because I don’t know much about you, I have always wondered about things like, why do you keep yourself closed away from others?”  
Shinji looked a bit surprised at that. “Oh, I don’t mean to offend you Shinji, I just wanted to know why. I’m sorry” Kaworu apologized.  
“No, it’s fine, it’s just that no one really, I guess, cares about that stuff…about me. I don’t know why I close myself away.”  
“Well is it… because you’re afraid of other people?”

That part made Shinji even more surprised. Kaworu is more perceptive than he had thought.  
“I know that by keeping others at a distance you avoid a betrayal of your trust, but you must endure the loneliness…” The vibrant eyed boy trailed off with his words. “Here’s your orders.” The waitress placed down their latte and tea along with the extra croissant.  
They both thanked her and took hold of their drinks but were more focused on continuing the conversation.

  
“I just can’t connect with other people.” The brunet shrugged.  
“But I want to be closer to you.” Kaworu could have sworn he saw Shinji’s eyes light up.

After they finished, Kaworu payed, despite Shinji’s protests, and they waved each other goodbye.  
Now Shinji was walking his way home. Maybe I should have let Misato know I was going to come home late…

  
Though, what was mainly on Shinji’s mind was Kaworu. Why was Kaworu so… kind to him? Why would he care about Shinji? Let alone, treat him at a coffee shop? Kaworu said he wants to be closer to me…could we even be friends?  
His thought process had to end quickly, because once he entered through the door, an angry Misato came stomping towards him.

“Where have you been!?”  
“I was hanging out with a friend!” Shinji said as he began to turn towards his room.  
“I almost thought you were in trouble! I was about to call the p- wait, you were hanging out with a friend!?” Misato exclaimed. “Well, we went to a coffee shop, that’s all.”  
“He wasn’t being mean to you, right?”

“No ones mean to me, don’t worry about that.” Shinji said, frustrated.  
“Shinji…”  
“I’m going to take a shower.” The boy just wanted her to just stop pressing on about it.

When he entered the bathroom, he just stared at himself in the mirror. He stared at his features for a while, trying to imagine how Kaworu sees him. _I look so bland_ Shinji was very aware of that. I don’t even want to take a shower, I just want to lay down.

  
Despite that thought, he got in and mostly just stood there in the shower, letting the hot water hit his skin. Once the water began to get colder, he was reminded to actually start washing his body and hair.

He got out, wrapped himself in a towel and sat on the floor, no thoughts in his head. When he was fully dry he walked to his room and changed in to some old clothes that were on the floor and he tossed the towel into the laundry basket, not motivated enough to do the same with some of the clothes lying on the floor of his room.  
He threw his body on the bed and looked up at the ceiling in his room.

  
How does Misato even put up with me? I would be embarrassed if Kaworu saw me like this… _Kaworu._  
_I want to be closer to you too, Kaworu._

Days pass, Shinji and Kaworu have been hanging out a lot more during school and outside of it. Shinji has become a lot more comfortable around Kaworu and looks forward to seeing him every day. Shinji often worries as coming off as clingy towards Kaworu, but Kaworu’s never shown discomfort or repulse to Shinji. Though Kaworu is popular he’s never ashamed to let people see or know that he’s friends with a loner.

  
Shinji appreciates that a lot about Kaworu. However, Shinji’s gotten a bit more attention, and it’s all negative, unwanted attention.  
Kaworu and Shinji are talking to each other across their desks during their lunch, and all of a sudden, Shinji’s stomach is being squashed into his desk due to his chair tipping him forward.

“Nagisa, why are you hanging out with this annoying brat so much?”  
That high pitched voice belonged to none other than Asuka Langley Sohryu.  
Shinji pushed his chair back with the same amount of force. “He’s my friend, why is it so important for you to know?” Kaworu frowned at her aggressiveness towards Shinji. “Tch! All I am saying is that you shouldn’t be wasting your time with him. He’s acted like a jerk to me many times before. But do what you want, you’ll only see how he really is like by then.” Asuka laughed.

  
“I was never a jerk to you! It was you who was rude towards me-“ Shinji was cut off. “I don’t need your opinion on him, I know Shinji. You should leave both of us alone now. Please go on with your own business.” Kaworu said in calm, yet firm tone.  
Shinji still looked annoyed at Asuka, ready to spit some more angry words, but felt a bit at ease with Kaworu having his back.

“Hm, maybe Shinji hangs out with people as annoying as him!” Asuka walked away towards her little friend group, beginning to talk about, probably them, in an annoyed tone. “I’m sorry about that Kaworu, Asuka always bickers with me for whatever reason. I used to be confused on how she perceives me but now I’m aware she has some kind of one sided…rivalry? With me? Or she genuinely resents me, but I don’t care.” Shinji said in an exasperated manner.

  
“You shouldn’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault. Some people just choose to be that way without real reasoning. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve better." Shinji smiles at that, “Thank you, Kaworu.”  
Kaworu genuinely believes Shinji’s smile is a real treasure.

Kaworu and Shinji are back at the coffee shop they first hung out at.  
“Shinji, can I have your phone number?” Kaworu asks.

  
Shinji almost chokes on his tea at that, placing the teacup down on the small plate to help himself fully recover, “W-what?” “Your phone number. I want to be able stay in contact with you more that way.” The boy said, a bit concerned for Shinji after he obviously nearly choked.

  
“Oh! Um, yes, right, I know.” The brunet began to pull out his phone. Kaworu reached for his phone as well and opened up his contacts app, ready to have Shinji’s number saved. He was already imagining all of the possible text conversations they will have together in the near future.

Shinji told him his number and Kaworu exchanged his as well, changing Shinji’s display name on his contacts to “Shinji❤” The boy shifted his position in his seat to get a better look, “A h-heart!?” Shinji blushed at this.  
“Yes, a heart, because you are my best friend.” Kaworu smiled at him.  
_I’m his best friend…_

  
“…then I guess I should put yours as the same.” The boy chuckled, changing Kaworu’s display name to “Kaworu❤”

“I’ll text you later, when I get home.” The scarlet eyed boy took a sip of his latte.  
“Okay, I’ll make sure to be on.” Shinji nodded.  
“Are you finished with your tea?” Kaworu set his cup down. “Yeah, are you ready to go?”

  
“Yep!” The boy began to reach for his back pocket to get his money, but Shinji stopped him.  
“I’m treating you this time!” Shinji laughed.

  
His laugh was like music to his ears, the best song Kaworu has ever heard. He wants to protect Shinji’s smile, his laugh. He wants to see and hear it time and time again. He just wants Shinji to be happy. He deserves that happiness. After Shinji payed, they both walked out of the shop, waved to each other and went on their separate paths.  
All Shinji could think about is receiving that text from Kaworu.

Misato watched Shinji open the door, and nearly dropped the television remote she was holding, doing a double take. “What’s on your phone that’s making you smile so much, Shinji?” Misato said, a bit perplexed at the sight of the unusually happy boy. Shinji was glued to his phone, switching from social media back to his text messages repeatedly.  
“I’m going to go to my room!” The giddy boy slid his shoes off and jogged away.

  
“Oh…kay.” Misato was obviously curious, but shrugged it off, returning to her channel surfing. Shinji nearly tripped over his own feet, not paying attention to anything else, only muscle memory of walking to his bed carried him. He curled into the fetal position, anticipating Kaworu’s message.

His giddy demeanor turned into excitement once he saw the texting app display ‘Kaworu❤ is typing…’  
Kaworu❤: Hi, Shinji.  
_Wow, he types with proper capitalization and punctuation…It doesn’t really display the tone of how he actually talks to me._  
Shinji❤: hi kaworu!

 _Aghhh, was that too much?_ The thought ended as soon as he saw Kaworu typing again.

Kaworu❤: I hope this way we can talk more often. What do you want to do tomorrow since we have no school?  
Shinji❤ is typing…

_I don’t really even know…but we probably shouldn’t hang out at the coffee shop again, since we’ve visited enough times._

Shinji❤: hmmm well I dont think we’ll be going to the coffee shop again  
Kaworu❤: Oh, you don’t like the coffee shop?  
Shinji❤: its not that, i just thought it would be better if we went somewhere different..

Shinji took a moment to think of where they should go. Sure, the park sounds fun, but it would get boring quick, since there’s not much to see there. Any place with food just doesn’t sound appealing since they just spend most of their time eating. But one of the many thoughts that ran through Shinji’s head had struck him a good idea.

Shinji❤: oh ! actually we could go to eachh others houses or somthing

Other than Shinji desperately trying to ignore his terrible misspellings due to his eagerness, he really hopes that Kaworu is okay with that suggestion. He’d probably shrivel in embarrassment if Kaworu said he was overstepping, but then again, Shinji has gotten to know Kaworu better, and he likely wouldn’t shut him down like that.

Kaworu❤: Hm, okay, but… I would like it if we went to yours instead of mine.  
Kaworu❤: It’s not about anything with you, I just feel like it would be better if I went to yours. Is that fine with you?

That text made Shinji a bit concerned because he didn’t really ever hear anything about Kaworu’s home life, but he wouldn’t bring it up, they were only trying to spend time together anyway. However, Shinji was clouded with absolute excitement and worry at the thought of them hanging out in Shinji’s room. Excitement because, well, why wouldn’t he be, and worry because what if he thinks the place is messy? Well, it is, so Shinji will make sure to start cleaning the whole place after he’s finished talking with Kaworu.

Shinji❤: yes thats totally fine!  
Shinji❤: im really looking forward to it  
Kaworu❤: I’m glad, I’m also looking forward to it. How should I get there?  
Shinji❤: we could meet up by the coffee place and then i can walk you there ?  
Kaworu❤: Alright, that sounds fine. What time?  
Shinji❤: how about like… in the morning,, maybe 11?  
Shinji❤: if u think thats ok  
Kaworu❤: I can do that.  
Shinji❤: ok well see u tomorrow then haha  
Kaworu❤: See you, Shinji. 😊

Immediately after Kaworu sent that last message, Shinji got the motivation that he hasn’t had in months, just to clean the house for Kaworu’s visit, beginning to pick up all of his dirty clothes from the floor and throw it in the laundry basket. “Shinji? Oh, are you cleaning up?” Misato turned to see the boy beginning to pick up after her left over trash.  
“Yeah, it’s really messy around here.” Shinji said, not turning away from his task.

“Oh, well then have at it. I’ve been trying to clean up more since things always pile up, but I guess leaving trash has become a habit.” Misato shrugged.  
“Oh, also, I forgot to tell you that my friend is going to come over here tomorrow…”

“Wait what?” Misato’s attention went fully to Shinji this time.

  
“Um, he’s really nice, I promise. He wouldn’t want to cause us any trouble here, so, can he come over?” The blue eyed boy bit his lip. “Shinji…” Misato trailed off in thought. Misato doesn’t really want a stranger she knows absolutely nothing about in her apartment, but Shinji finally getting a friend and spending time with him doesn’t sound bad at all, and his friend’s just a high school student anyway.

When Misato turned her attention back to Shinji, he appeared worried about what her answer may be, and it made her sigh. “Fine,” she witnessed Shinji’s eyes literally lighten at her response, “Can you at least tell me his name? Any important things about him I should know?”

  
“His name is Nagisa Kaworu, and there’s nothing in particular to know, really. He’s a good student.” “Okay, but if I find anything off about him, he’s out.” The violet haired woman said.  
“Yeah, I get it.” Shinji returned to cleaning up.

He was so grateful that Kaworu was his friend.

When Shinji awoke, he made a beeline straight to the bathroom and began brushing his teeth. He checked his phone and it was 9:58. What did I have to do today…? OH! As soon as Shinji recalled he’s supposed to go walk Kaworu from the coffee shop to back here, he finished up brushing his teeth and quickly tossed his clothes off then flung himself in the shower.

Tossing on a towel, he rushed to his room. Realizing he put all of the clothes he had in the laundry, he sighed, having to ask Misato for her clothes instead. He didn’t really have any particular taste in clothing, but he appreciated the look of the clothes that Misato threw in his room for him. It wasn’t any thing special, just some cuffed jeans and a navy blue t-shirt that had elbow length sleeves.

It was a bit loose on his form, but once he tucked it in his jeans it appeared to fit better. It was simplistic, yet nice, and the color of the shirt brought out his eyes. He fixed his hair a bit, already beginning to dry from all the rushing around he was doing. _Wait why am I even worried about how my appearance is? All we’re going to do is spend time with each other for a bit in my place. Wait, I should leave now so I’m not late!_

Shinji swiftly turned from his bedroom door to the entrance and kicked his shoes on, “Be back!” “Ah, be careful Shinji! Close the door too- ugh. He left already.” Misato groaned having to walk all the way to the entrance to close the door because Shinji forgot to.

The more Misato thought about it, she was really happy that Shinji found a friend. She was aware that he was possibly suffering from depression, knowing of his past situation and having to take him in as his guardian because of it.

She wasn’t sure how to get him help. He absolutely wasn’t willing to talk to a therapist because of his possible social anxiety disorder, and Misato constantly worried if it was going to get worse. As months progressed, he lost a lot of motivation to take care of himself and would shut himself in his room, only coming out to use the restroom, get some food, or when it was time for school.

She had felt like a horrible guardian figure to Shinji because of this, she wasn’t really good with helping others. Sometimes he would get a little bit of motivation to do whatever, but it wasn’t often. Misato knew well that she wasn’t enough help for him. She tried on multiple occasions to talk with Shinji, but he would dismiss her. She also tried to get better at cooking so he can have better meals other than fast food and pre-made food.

She knew he really needed a friend, so whoever his friend was, he must be some sort of angel, making Shinji happy enough to get the whole place, including himself, ready. All she hopes is that he doesn’t hurt Shinji, otherwise she’ll give him a piece of her mind.

Shinji was running, for some reason, he wasn’t really even close to being late, yet he felt the need to be there as soon as possible. It’s now only 10:13, but Shinji was willing to wait a while until Kaworu would show up. The coffee shop was right around the corner, he was almost there, making a turn and- He nearly ran straight into someone who was standing by the building already.

“S-sorry- Ah! Kaworu! You’re already here!” Shinji said, almost yelling. Kaworu blinked in surprise from the sudden movement and noise, but began laughing at Shinji’s own surprised reaction. With Kaworu’s laughter, Shinji couldn’t help but laugh himself.

“Have you been waiting long?” Shinji said after he began to calm down. “No, I was only here for a few minutes.” Kaworu lied, having been standing there for an hour because he was way too early. “Ah, well are you ready?” Shinji smiled; the other boy wished Shinji smiled more often.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Kaworu smiled back. They began walking in the direction that Shinji came from before, and Shinji wondered if they would do this more in the future, going to his house to hang out. Then Shinji noticed Kaworu’s bag.

“Are you planning to stay the night Kaworu?” The brunet questioned. “Yes, if that is alright with you.” The gray haired boy already expected a yes. “Yeah, I don’t mind,” Shinji’s response came easy, “also, I don’t really have anything entertaining besides a TV or a computer…haha, sorry…”

“I don’t care Shinji, I mostly just want to spend more time with you,” Shinji blushed at that, “but I brought my switch, I know you don’t really play games, but I just wanted you to try some.”

“Oh! Okay, perfect!” Shinji wished he could’ve been the one to present more entertaining things to Kaworu, like a better host, but he himself didn’t need any other entertainment than his phone. “Also, my guardian doesn’t mind you staying there, so don’t worry about that.” Shinji reassured.

Once they arrived to the apartment complex, Shinji was a bit nervous of what Kaworu would think of the inside of his own place again, but tried to brush away the thought. They eventually reached the place and was immediately greeted by Misato. “Oh, hi! You must be Nagisa?” Misato walked towards them both to properly greet the red eyed boy.

“Yes, are you Shinji’s guardian?” Kaworu said as he and Shinji slid their shoes off “Yep, I’m Katsuragi Misato. Shinji has told me a bit about you.” The dark brown eyed woman said.

“Ah, I’m going to go ahead and use the restroom real quick, Kaworu you can just go to my room over here if you want.” Shinji walked away, hoping Kaworu wont feel to awkward without him there.

When Shinji shut the door, Misato turned back to Kaworu, an earnest expression displayed on her face. “I’m really happy Shinji has a friend, he doesn’t really talk with many people, so I’m glad you’re there for him. He’s… been better with you around.” Kaworu was aware Shinji didn’t talk with others much, but he didn’t think about how Shinji’s behavior changed in general, he really only knew that he was more open with Kaworu once he got closer with Shinji, “I’m glad I’m his friend. He deserves to be happy.”

Misato’s expression lightened a bit at what he said, “Thank you.” The sound of the door opening dominated the noise in the room, indicating Shinji was going to cut their small conversation. “Ah, did Misato interrogate you?” Shinji said, concerned a bit.

“Hah?! Do you think I’m an evil guardian or something? I’m not going to get crazy over you guys hanging out, go have fun.” Misato said, playfully annoyed. “Yeah, yeah, Kaworu, this way.” Shinji motioned towards his room.

After about 2 hours of trying to get Shinji to get used to playing some of the Nintendo games Kaworu brought on his switch, he figured that he enjoyed playing Super Smash Bros. the most. “I’m happy you like this, Shinji. I could bring them next time as well.” Kaworu smiled as he watched Shinji focus intensely on the game.

 _Next time…_ Shinji thought about Kaworu’s words as he finished the match. “I would like that, if you- if we did this often. Visiting, I mean.” Shinji turned to look at Kaworu’s face, but he immediately regretted doing that because, too close, too close! Whatever Kaworu was going to say died in his mouth, and Shinji immediately turned away, face hot.

“U-um, yeah, so this is- is really fun so I hope y- you’re up to doing it more.” Shinji internally yelled at himself because he kept stuttering.

“Yeah, I am, actually.” Kaworu responded, unable to see Shinji’s face because he’s hiding under his bangs. “So…what do you want to do next? Are you hungry?” Shinji said, still turned away, needing to collect himself before he can look at Kaworu in the eyes again.

“Hmm, I’m not. Are you?” The ruby eyed teen rested his head on his hand. “No, not really.” The brunet managed to make eye contact finally. “Then I guess we can just relax here for now, if you want.” The red eyed boy shifted in his position, sitting with his arms at his side, laying against the wall.

“Okay…” Shinji mimicked Kaworu, shifting his position, but folding his legs, resting his head on his crossed arms.

In a brief moment, they basked in the comfortable silence they shared, which Shinji thought most of in particular. He was so at ease around Kaworu that they could share a minute and even longer like this. Shinji knew Kaworu was special to him. Kaworu could see something in him that Shinji couldn’t see himself. Shinji is so happy Kaworu is here for him.

He’s felt devoid of the happiness for the longest time. _I… don’t deserve someone like Kaworu._

“Before I… before I met you, Kaworu, it was just…” Shinji struggled with his words. He didn’t need to look directly at Kaworu to know that those ruby eyes we’re giving him their full attention.

“I had a really hard time…I guess.” Shinji took in a breath, “I was in a really bad place, and to be completely honest with you… I still am.” _What am I doing…_

He finally turned towards Kaworu, he could tell that the other boy wanted to say something, but Kaworu would let Shinji finish before he said something.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’ve been so great to me, I couldn’t have asked for a better friend… I’ve really felt happier these days because I get to be around you…” Shinji’s heart rate was skyrocketing, but he wasn’t going to stop now.

“I just- I grew up in a shitty situation. My father, he was so terrible, I hate him. I hate him for making me go through so much. And because of him I just turned out to be a useless piece of trash human. I’m so- I’m lazy and I can’t find the motivation to do, like, basic things. I can’t even function right without being dependent on someone, that’s how bad I am, you probably know that too, since I cling onto you pretty much all the time.” Shinji inhaled, “So, I’m really sorry for being the way I am, I don’t know why I can’t get better, I thought being with you would erase the pain…”

Shinji wanted to continue, but he felt hot wet tears beginning to stream down his face.

_Why am I so weak?_

__

All he knew next was that he was being enveloped in warm arms. He slowly wrapped his own arms around the warmth that was Kaworu, returning his hug. “You don’t deserve any pain you’ve gone through, and I can’t erase that pain, but I will say that you mean so much to me, more than you’ll ever know, and you are so important. It’s not your fault that you feel this way,” Kaworu tightened his hug slightly, “I don’t care if you’re dependent on me, because I’ll never leave you. I want to you to be happy.”

Shinji’s sobs broke through his body, muffled by Kaworu’s shirt. “Thank you…” They stayed like that for a while, hugging each other as if they could never let go. Eventually they had to depart from their hug, but Kaworu just wanted to wipe away Shinji’s tears.

Kaworu just wants to protect Shinji.

“Ah… Kaworu, you can just sleep on my bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Shinji said, this particular phrase sounded all too familiar to him for some reason.

“I won’t make you do that, Shinji. If you’re going to sleep on the floor, then I might as well too.” Kaworu said. Shinji looked at him to see if his expression was genuine, and unsurprisingly, it was.

“Haha, okay, I think there’s some spare futons, so I’ll go get those.” Shinji walked towards the closet in his room and threw down the two mats on the floor, then evened them out. Shinji then set out some blankets from his bed for Kaworu and him to use.

Once they both settled on the futons, they didn’t have any intentions of trying to get sleep just yet. Shinji just stared at the ceiling, processing all the things that happened today. “Kaworu…about today I just wanted to tell you thanks, um, again.” Shinji said, eyes focused on the wall, not bothering to look away, “I think I never really got as close with someone like you, or just, close with someone in general. I feel like, back then, I did nothing but exist. But that was fine with me, I didn’t mind too much before.”

“Do you dislike people?” The silver haired boy asked.

“Well, I don’t really care. Except for my father, who I hate, but you probably knew that.” Shinji’s eyes regained the will to move, and he turned on his side, to face Kaworu, but he found him looking right back at himself as well. This made Shinji blush a bit in surprise, and that made Kaworu smile.

“Maybe I was born to meet you.”

Next morning, they’re off to school together, walking next to each other the whole way. They spend most of their day together, as much as they can, whether it be running next to each other in gym or sitting across the other during lunch. They’ll get looks for it occasionally, and Shinji would mind that, but be put at ease with Kaworu’s reassurance. They both had seemed inseparable.

Though, when the school day had ended, Kaworu had pulled Shinji to the music room, which had instruments. Shinji liked music, but he never learned to play anything other than cello. He kind of forgot about the cello completely.

“Why did you take me here, Kaworu?” the brunet questioned. Shinji watched as Kaworu walked his way over to the piano and sat down in front of it. “Come here and sit next to me, I want to teach you how to play piano a little.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t really know the basics.” Shinji sat down next to Kaworu. “That’s fine, I’m only going to show you how to play a small tune.” Kaworu once again delivered a smile that makes Shinji’s heart jump.

Since they didn’t have sheet music to go off of, Kaworu guided his hand across the piano keys, starting with a simple tune. Shinji tried to replicate the movement on his own but struggled a bit. Kaworu didn’t mind this, as he then played the tune once more, rather smoothly. He picked up the pace and began playing a whole song, which then Shinji recognized it was _Fantaisie Impromptu_.

Shinji tried to pick up the pace as Kaworu did, following his fingers. He was clearly slow compared to Kaworu, but it was a bit fun nonetheless. Kaworu played all the way through, and Shinji wasn’t too surprised at his ability, having known his various other talents.

Shinji felt a bit worn out at trying to keep up with Kaworu’s piano playing but didn’t pay much mind to that. When he looked at Kaworu, Shinji noticed he had an expression that was unintelligible. “Kaworu, I- “ Shinji felt that familiar warmth press on his lips.

His eyes widened when realization struck him. He missed that warmth as soon as it left him. _Kaworu just…_

All there had been was silence after, both of them staring in each other’s eyes. Shinji took this as a queue to return the favor, his own face inching towards Kaworu, and before he knew it, his lips pressed against Kaworu’s own once more. Once they broke the kiss they shared, Shinji only knew how to laugh as the blushing mess he is in that moment.

Kaworu then laughed too, then delicately grabbed ahold of Shinji’s hands, similar to what he did when Shinji injured his elbow. “Shinji, I’ve wanted to tell you something for a while, since you’ve had my regard, when we became friends.” Kaworu looked at Shinji with sincerity. “Regard?” Shinji asked. “It means that I love you.”

_Oh._

Shinji’s already crimson face somehow got even more red. “I-I love you too, Kaworu.” Kaworu cupped his hands around Shinji’s face and gave another soft kiss out of pure happiness, and Shinji held his hands onto Kaworu’s own.

When they finally broke apart, Kaworu pressed more chaste kisses on Shinji, making the brunet giggle. “So, this makes us…” Shinji trailed off. “Together.” Kaworu finished for him. “How about we have our first date at the coffee shop?” Kaworu said cheerfully. “Already?” Shinji laughed, “Okay then.” Kaworu took ahold of Shinji’s hand, and they walked the rest of their way, not letting go of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I was really nervous posting this fic, it's not my first, but it's my first time posting anything. I hope you enjoy it, I wanted to get this posted before September, and I got caught up with school work. I plan to post two artworks that go with the scenes in the story later. Let me know if I need to fix anything! I want to get better at writing fics but I wish I started this earlier, since school is trying to plague me with work.  
> Also, I tried my best to do research on depression because I know that's an important factor of Shinji's character, so if something doesn't seem right, tell me and I will fix it! But again I hope you enjoy. I'm trying my best!


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